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Funny quotes

Welcome to Funny-quotes.eu website!

A collection of funny quotes, sayings, famous people thoughts and great jokes about life and love, marriage and relationships, work and money, men and women, education and science, war and politics, and many more. You can find a lot of cool free phrases and humorous sayings to send them by email, sms message to your friends or post on Facebook wall. Very popular funny quotes are written by famous people and will help you to make your best friend's day. All following topics are presented in alphabetical order. If you are looking for funny facts about people, animals, USA or drinink, you can find a lot of them in our webiste. Some cool funny pictures are waiting for you as well. Hope you have lots of fun!


Alcohol and effect of it's consumption
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Annoying people and communications with them
Life would be much brighter if I could mark people as spam.

Bad people and their behaviour
A person like you is the reason why other people have middle fingers!

Beer and light drinks
If beer can't cure it - you have a very very serious problem...

Birthday, gifts, age, celebration
Oh, it's your birthday today?! Thank you, Facebook!

Children and parenting
Love is free, but the diapers are expensive...

Christmas holiday, Santa Claus
There was only one Christmas - the others are just anniversaries

Death and dying
I intend to live forever. Or to die trying!

Drinking strong drinks
When wine enters, secrets come out.

Education of people
I't is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education

Efficiency of your efforts
In theory, everything works.

Facebook social network
"Face" your problems, not "Facebook" them!

Family and realtives
Never underestimate a child's capability to get into even more trouble.

Friends and friendship
A friend is someone who hasn't borrowed money from you yet.

Getting older, old age
Why are we getting older and wider instead of older and wiser?

Girls and how to keep company with them
Good girls = bad girls that never get caught.

God, belief and religion
God can't be everywhere, so he made mothers.

Growing up from childhood
We never really grow up, we just learn how to behave in public.

Health, doctors, medicine, hospitals
I‘m very sick and tired of being sick and tired.

High school and studing in them
Graduation speech: "I'd like to thank the Web, Google, Wiki and Copy/Paste..."

Homework at school or work
I miss that days when homework was just... coloring.

iPhone and Apple's stuff
You are like an iPhone, cause I want to tap you all day!

Jobs (professions), looking for work
I love my boss and my job! I'm self employed...

Lazy people thougts and behavior
We will be friends forever because I'm too lazy to find new ones.

Learning at school, college, work
For every person who wants to teach there are 30 people who don't want to learn much.

Life in general, life style
People have become the tools of their tools.

Love, relations between men and women
Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

Marriage, wedding
I was born to be wild but got married instead...

Men and their thinking
When a man brings flowers to his wife for no reason, it means that there's a reason.

Money, riches, wealth, property
Money can talk, but all it says is "good-bye".

People in general
Some people give and forgive, others get and forget.

Politics, governance, elections
Politicians and diapers should be changed frequently.

Relationships between people
Love is temporary insanity wich can be cured by marriage.

School (pupils and students)
Be quiet in the classroom - respect others sleep!

Science, research, discoveries
Does sciencists know what's the speed of dark?

Being Single in your life
I think... therefore I'm a single man!

Smoking, cigarettes, tobacco
Cigarettes can harm your children. Use an ashtray!

Studying in university or high school
Fast studying: I study for minutes, then take breaks for hours...

Stupid people, their thinking and actions
God loves stupid people, that's why he made so many of them!

Success in life, at work, in family
A road to success is always under construction.

Teachers, instructors, proffesors
If you want to discover wildlife - try to teach at school.

Truth, logic, facts, evidence
I never believe in anything until it has been officially denied.

War and conflits between countries
In a war of ideas people get killed.

Wifes, husbands
A man without a wife is like a neck without a pain.

Women, their way of living and thinking
I am the boss in our house. My wife told me so!

Work, employment, labor, office
If you are late at work this morning, try to fix it by leaving early.

Funny facts
Interesting facts about animals, human body, geography, people, alcohol.

Funny pictures
Free cards with animals and kids to download.




Even more fun!


Make your friends smile! Please check this wonderful collection of funny pictures. They are easy to download and to share on social networks or send via email. Also we gathered a lot of interesting and funny facts about humans, animals, Earth, astronomy, USA and alcohol. Read them and you will be able to suprise your friends with your knowledge! If you know some original funny sayings, don't hesitate to send us via email decotopics@decotopics.com. We are waiting for you ideas and comments as well! Don't forget to visit Funny-quotes.eu website frequently because we update it often. And if you need even more quotes and jokes, please check funny sayings website.

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